I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
try to milk me bitch
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