Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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