I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize