We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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