This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
