Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
