I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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