in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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