Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
