How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
