Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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