he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I am spending my child support on dildos
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My life is pants optional.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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