Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
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