The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
