I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
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