I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Randomize
