she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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