i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize
