help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize