Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
