Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
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