you turned your livingroom into a bong?
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
