we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
He tried to slow-dance with me in bed. IN BED.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
