Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
