i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
