you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
