it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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