Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I think I just saw someone hide a body.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
