We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
