Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Randomize
