I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
