But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
Randomize
