that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I am full of burrito and curiosity
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
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