hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
