Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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