if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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