he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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