We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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