Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
