her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
He has the fingertips of a God
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
