Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
