With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
