his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
