evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
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