my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
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