how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
