He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Randomize
