I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
Randomize
