so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
