I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Randomize
