What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
are you so shy because you have an std?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
