im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Randomize
