Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
Randomize
