he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
operation harelip BJ is a go
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
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