every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
