I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
