Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
wow bdsm is so cute
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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