what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
YAS. BRING CRAB.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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