my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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