they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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