Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
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