but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
