no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
