whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
