i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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