I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
Randomize