She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
