Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize