JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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