You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
