Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
